Getting Married

Let see who is getting married soon...Shawn at the end of the year, Mei Yue on 19 Dec this yr, my cousin next yr in May, Jing Yan next yr and Di He next yr.

I have alot of thinking to do, deciding what gifts to give all of them.

My cousin n her family converted to Christians a few years ago and my grandparents are worried that she will not be doing any Chinese wedding. I spoke to her abt that and she told me that she will be doing most of our tradition wedding customs as long as they are not against her beliefs. I totally agreed.

I detest those who converted and de-cry all traditional practice of the Chinese. There is a mark difference between Chinese customs and Buddhism/Taoist customs. I had a relative, over 70 who converted to Christian and told me what so good abt is giving ang po in CNY. She is a disgrace not only as a Chinese, but also a Christian, for twisting the teaching of Christians. There is not conflict b/w being a Christian and a Chinese.

春节 is the celebration of the start of the lunar new yr, 重阳节 is to pay respect to our ancestors, 端午节 is to install loyalty, 中秋节 is a chance for families to meet, 七巧节 is our own Valentine's Day, 冬至 marks the end of the lunar yr. Religion has no significant part to play. The closest is 中元节 which is a Buddhism/Taoist religion celebration.

I was supposed to talk abt marriage but yesterday ST on religion diverted me. Back to the main issue.

Alot of my friends dont want to go throu all the tiring procedures of wedding ceremony. I need to stress this: the Chinese wedding ceremony is impt! Chinese, like the Jews, have alot of things to do during a wedding.

Why???

It is to stress the seriousness of marriage. Other than just harping on the need to put in effort to maintain a marriage, the Chinese expresses this in all the procedures we have to go throu. Back in the olden days, when sons are restless, parents will let them get married to settle down (结婚后就定型). During wedding dinners, elders will tell the married couple that they have now grown up and need to work hard to support the family.

Summarizing, the troublesome Chinese wedding is to bring in the fact that marriage is need to be taken seriously. It is a life-long commitment. It does not mark the end, but the beginning of the constant effort needed to maintain a marriage and family.

I will remind my friends abt these and wish them all the best.