有心为善，其善不赏；无意为恶，其恶不罚。

Was thinking abt this problem over this weekend. Mind is in a mess, until i took so long to write a simple code of looking for 2 digits out of 3 digit of random order. Systematic mind de-functioning.

This morning was tossing ard in bed at 10+ (slept at 2 am last night after getting fed-up w DG and went to watch Harry Potter at LSC instead) and realise what is wrong with me.

I am still living my own life. I am forcing myself to live a life of a super nice guy. I want to be that nice guy. I am trying to achieve nibbana. 矫枉过正，必自毙！I made the ultimate mistake of being too 执著 and forgetting the meaning of 心无挂碍. Remember i saw this somewhere in a temple in Spore something like, cant really remember 为善欲人知即是伪善，行恶恐人晓当为假恶. Thing become much clearer now.

So, what's next?

真正学习放下执著，随缘自在。凡是不可强求，行善即是如此。

为恶畏人知。恶中尚有转念。为善欲人知。善处即是恶根。