Power is nothing without control 2

Where was it? Somewhere abt power.

Everybody loves power. So do it. I remember that when I was in pri 5, our form teacher was down w cancer and mia for most of the yr. relief teacher came n went n there was a period of time when effectively there was no teacher controlling the class. Form teacher in pri sch teaches every subject except Chinese. So, the class went monkey. I was one of the 2 prefects in the class. the other was a gal who almost did nothing. So, I step in n run the show. The result? 失败 啊 失败. From young, my dad was very strict w me. I was effectively living under the 法家思想. n i try to apply that standard to the class. I cant stand abit of noise in class n almost rule w an iron arm. Of cse the class hated me. They are so glad that i move to another class in P6.

Nothing happens in sec sch but in JC, i was the secretary of chinese society while another gal is the president, there was no VP that yr. I have no idea what my president did during her tenure. Either she is not very interested in her position (she moved from VP to P after the P had to leave VJ due to poor grades) or I am super on. I think even if she is interested, she will still lost out to my on-ness. I had long discussions w the teacher-in-charge abt running the society and various events till every chinese teachers in VJ know me. This time i really did it for passion and the result is: rumours spread that in the society, even the president have to listen to me. Of cse, she is pissed, especially when i got the ECA colours award n she didnt. (2 were given per eca, n i do wonder whether if my on-ness make her so pale in comparison that the teachers decide to only give 1). Seem that she broke all ties with the society after she grad.

The conclusion. Power corrupt me, esp unchecked power. although i didnt abuse my power (I only went to the extreme end during P5), it greatly strained friendships. That is y i told my mates in NSF that I tend to be bossy over time n pse do tell me. I am trying to cut that down.

Till uni, i dont voluteer to be leader of any gp or proj. singaporeans has this funny thinking. when they choose a leader, they will follow his instruction, even if that guy is super on or super slack. no complains, unless till the very extreme. So, if i become the leader, all the rest have to be super on to match me. Furthermore, i develop a sense of 泼冷水 mentally during uni (got that from g leng). Discussion, I tend to look at the negative sides, what can goes wrong n such. If I am the leader, pple will have the impression that i purposely down play everybody ideas n my own will be the very best.

In summary, i dont like to be in power. Power corrupts me. i may gain some, but i will also lost some thing else, maybe significant stuff. pple who dont know me will lame that w my brain, i dont lead. Friends who know me will ustd that putting me as the 第二把交椅 benefits all.

Power is nothing without control

1 week didnt write anything. Mr SJ is complaining. It has been a very siong week, 2 lab reports and so many backlog of C++ lectures to cover. The only bright spot is the class went out for dinner together on Fri night. It was fun but abit dull. Nobody can think of something interesting to do n we all stone at the merlion park, discussing whether the round object in the sky is the moon or the sun. The whole weekend was burn, spent all the time doing C++ codes and writing the report.

There was an acident on mon where JJ mass email to us complaining that we all look at him what prof ask who is spoliting the mkt by writing long report. I think this is a small matters but it seem to have blown up unproportionally and the class have to try to put out fire. But of cse, JJ may have some bad incident with such things that he think it is good to express his view first. Being the top student from chem engr, he may have been throu enough 冷嘲热讽.

If we just see a person action based on our own experience, it is not very fair to him. The class is a nice gp of pple. Similarly, i had my own share of bad experience with friends that i am now quite 抗拒 to making new friends or getting to know friends better. It took just a while to get the right 感觉 w sj n hm. This is why i feel quite uncomfortable n uneasy taking shawn car to sch, like whole car journey, nothing to talk abt. But i can sense that he is a nice guy. I need to put in more effort to make friends. Shawn can be the starting guy. Hopefully time can make us good friends.

The heading is abt power. I was susposed to talk abt power. But JJ incident diverted my thoughts. nvm, today is my free day. will post part 2 after dinner.

posted a pic after sj complain that my blog was too dry.

Life is tough

Today had another close to 5 hr lab. I feel like an idiot throughout the lab. The teaching just dont sink in, keep asking homan what is going on. It is only after the whole lab when I consolidate everything n scan it through while waiting for transport, that I ustd what is going on. There is so much stuff to learn!

After lab, I went back to E2, sat on the beach n stared into space. G Leng n ah lim both not ard, the place is very empty n quiet. Those were the days, work was heavy but do-able. SJ n I chat n joke w each other, w profs n friends. Now, I feel like a commoner in a party of high-flyer. & my cubic has to be far from everybody. Seems like I am always left out of the gp. But I do value that quiet and calm it gave me.

Went to cad cam center too, already after 6 n the door was locked. I tried my masters matric card n it say "permission denied", similarly for my undergraduate matric card. This means that i am officially not longer a part of the engr faculty. But, as usually, the right side of the door near the E2 lift is faulty n I manage to get it. Haha.

Atheneum is too far from engr, although it is in E4. I feel so much comfortable just walking ard E1, EA, E1A and E2. The feeling of closeness and familiarity is a huge contrast to the dark unknown of knowledge pushed to me during the past 3 weeks of lectures n labs.

They say that when one door of opportunity closes, another door of opportunity opens. I hope that I did not just hang on to the spoilt door of cad cam and did not see the door that has opened. 缅怀过去 will get me no where. Work Hard and I will succeed. Even if it cause me 100% of my personal life. 未经一番寒彻骨 焉得梅花扑鼻香.

Getting Married

Let see who is getting married soon...Shawn at the end of the year, Mei Yue on 19 Dec this yr, my cousin next yr in May, Jing Yan next yr and Di He next yr.

I have alot of thinking to do, deciding what gifts to give all of them.

My cousin n her family converted to Christians a few years ago and my grandparents are worried that she will not be doing any Chinese wedding. I spoke to her abt that and she told me that she will be doing most of our tradition wedding customs as long as they are not against her beliefs. I totally agreed.

I detest those who converted and de-cry all traditional practice of the Chinese. There is a mark difference between Chinese customs and Buddhism/Taoist customs. I had a relative, over 70 who converted to Christian and told me what so good abt is giving ang po in CNY. She is a disgrace not only as a Chinese, but also a Christian, for twisting the teaching of Christians. There is not conflict b/w being a Christian and a Chinese.

春节 is the celebration of the start of the lunar new yr, 重阳节 is to pay respect to our ancestors, 端午节 is to install loyalty, 中秋节 is a chance for families to meet, 七巧节 is our own Valentine's Day, 冬至 marks the end of the lunar yr. Religion has no significant part to play. The closest is 中元节 which is a Buddhism/Taoist religion celebration.

I was supposed to talk abt marriage but yesterday ST on religion diverted me. Back to the main issue.

Alot of my friends dont want to go throu all the tiring procedures of wedding ceremony. I need to stress this: the Chinese wedding ceremony is impt! Chinese, like the Jews, have alot of things to do during a wedding.

Why???

It is to stress the seriousness of marriage. Other than just harping on the need to put in effort to maintain a marriage, the Chinese expresses this in all the procedures we have to go throu. Back in the olden days, when sons are restless, parents will let them get married to settle down (结婚后就定型). During wedding dinners, elders will tell the married couple that they have now grown up and need to work hard to support the family.

Summarizing, the troublesome Chinese wedding is to bring in the fact that marriage is need to be taken seriously. It is a life-long commitment. It does not mark the end, but the beginning of the constant effort needed to maintain a marriage and family.

I will remind my friends abt these and wish them all the best.

Why am I a Gan Cheong Spider?

ok, let me explain why I am such a gan cheong spider.

I am smart, smarter than the average guy but not as clever as a genius. Put in simply, 比上不足比下有余. So, I am given a choice: to take a step back n enjoy the life as an average guy or work like mad to chase after those 天才.

The answer is obvious, I choose the later. I am given the chance to excel n I wont give it up without a fight. They took just a week before exams to study and score straight 'A's. I took 5 weeks to study and also score straight 'A's. People who dont know me well will just say "wow, 1st class honours, genius". I just smile back at them. My true friends know the amount of sweat I put into my studies. (I just love Chinese, I wrote so much in english but 4 words in Chinese summarize all: 鸭子划水)

I have almost no personal life, hardly went out with friends or watch the TV. Others spend the weekends shopping, clubbing or chatting; I spent mine with notes, textbooks and tutorials. Generally, 勤能补拙.

Another trick is to do my stuff fast. My normal pace of walking is a slow jog to others. When I walk fast, they have to run to catch up w me. Swee Jin and Zhi Li will know. People spend 10 mins walking from the LT to the canteen, 10 mins to wait for a table, 10 mins to queue for food, 30 mins to finish the meal; a total of 1 hrs gone. I take 2 mins to walk from the LT to the canteen, 0 mins to wait for a table (cos I am the few to leave the LT first), 1 mins to queue for food (cos I always queue at the shortest queue) and 3 mins to finish my food (eat fast, a skill picked up during NSF); I am normally back to E2 in last than 10 mins.


These methods work for my undergraduates years. But it seems to be failing for my masters. Cos the workload are too heavy for me to 勤. Only a hardworking genius can understand all the stuff taught. This is why I am feeling the heat and almost drowning. But I will press on. I wont give up w/o a fight. 未经一番寒彻骨 焉得梅花扑鼻香.


PS: I have no 深仇大恨 towards genius. Many of them are my friends, some close friends. That is just life, there will always be pple who are smarter than u. They set my benchmark and I look towards them for encouragement.

London n a 18 yr old Singaporean guy

Was supposed to talk abt y I am such a gan cheong spider, but I saw 2 articles in yesterday zb, 1 on the London blast by 吴庆康 and another abt an 18 yr old Singaporean guy who killed himself because his gf broke up w him.

Are these 2 incidents related? I feel so, related by this topic: maturity.

London, a city who knows what to do in a terrorist attack. A city that acts calmly n maturely. Why? Because London has been practicing for such an event since 9/11.

The guy who killed himself. Lost his direction and act in a foolish way. His action shows that he is highly immature and dont know what to do in an unprecedented situation.

The article by zb mentioned abt Singaporean young guys being immature. I think it applies generally across the board, guys n gals. They are so spoonfed that they feel lost if things dont happen according to what they expect.

They will retort that Singapore is a place where they cant gain experience from crisis. Rubbish. Nobody can ever gain enough experience from his own experience. Please, open your eyes n look ard u for experience. All u need is to spend a min or so to think abt what u will do if a particular situation happens to u instead; the situation can be from news, TV, shows or friends. It is just like taking immunization shots. Be mentally prepared and u will perform better when such a situation really occurs.

Dont tell me that u dont watch boring news or read dull newspaper (very typical of our Singaporean teens). Experience can be gained everywhere, u just need to open your eyes. u watch OC? I did (if I know C++ will be so siong, I will read my C++ TB instead, sianz). The whole series is abt relationships. If that guy who killed himself spend a min after the show asking himself why the relationship b/w the couple turns sour and what shld he do if he is ever caught in such a situation, he may be still alive today....

Singaporean teens, it is time to grow up. Look ard u for experience and pse mature quickly. The harsh world will not and is not waiting for u.

Kang Jong Spider

Had the longest lab of my life, 5 hours of MPI coding. It was hell. But I wasnt going to talk abt it.

Was chatting w Shawn on the way home (he gave homan n me a ride), dont know how the topic got to being a Kang Jong Spider (hope the spelling is correct) in studies. I am an extremely Kang Jong Spider. Let us see the list:

1. I look for prof 2 weeks b4 the start of semester and ask them abt the reference texts and what to expect for the module.

2. I ask for a copy of the lecture notes 1 week before the start of the semester and send them for photocopying. I hate attending lectures w/o notes.

3. I ask the prof what is the format for exams, at the 1st week of class.

4. I look for prof at least once a week, clearing my doubts n queries. Top on my list: Prof Gupta, Prof Khoo, Prof Christina and Mr Ong WL. My session with them always took more than 1 hr. This results in most profs in ME knowing me. Those who dont know me r in the minority.

5. I read my notes after lecture, again after tutorial, during revision in mid-term break, before a final doubts-clearing session with prof and finally before exams.

6. I start my revision for exams right after the term-break.

7. I made my own notes, 2 types. The 1st type is the a summary of the lecture notes, normally consist of 2 parts, each from 1 prof. The 2nd type is the summary of the 1st type, no more than 1 A4 paper, it consist of everything (mostly formulas) I need to memories for exams.

8. I made sure that I understand the idea behind the module. This usually will mean that from a starting point, I am able to branch out into all the different areas of the module, forming a tree structure.

9. Lectures start at 10 am. I will reach NUS at 8.30 am to study. Fav corner, E2, evergreen non-academic stuff there, with Swee Jin of cse. Lessons end at 12 noon. Lunch in 15 mins, back to E2, till 4.30 pm. Back to E2 for study during sat n sun. Swee Jin will remember the cup noodles we had for lunch on sun.

10. Lastly, pple know to look for me for the latest info on modules, what is not coming out for exams, what will be coming out for exams, when is the coming quiz and of cse, where to find the office of profs.


Finally, pple do ask me, why do I choose this way of life. Answer? will tell u next time.

Commencement Ceremony

Today is the day that mark the final chapter of my life as an undergraduate. After the ceremony, I am offically graduated with Honours. Not much of a graduating mood. As what shawn said, we r still in NUS doing our Masters, the mood and reality of finally putting a stop to lectures and tutorials is just not there.

But today is the last chance to meet pple as the ME gang. After today, we will each be going along our own choosen path. Just realised that my ICT unit, BC A is graduating with me. For 4 yrs, I had never seen him except back in Khatib Camp. He is just as surprised as I am when I approach him.

Took plently of photos, something to remember each other. Swee Jin, Zhi Li, Liang Cai, Si Hui, Chaw Siong, Yao Guo, Yu Wei, Zhi Liang, Louis, Yi Wen..... I made alot of frends during my 4 yrs in NUS. Of cse I will never forget the profs n tutors, Prof G Leng, Cheng Li, Ah Lim, C Yap, VJ, Lim SC, Lim CT, Seah KH, Chew CH, CJ Tay, Vincent Tan, OWL, Norman....

They will be my memories of NUS. But most importantly, I think I will miss the days of studying at E2, a place called the "G Spot" by Mak.........