男人不坏，女人不爱？？

Interesting topic, some history...

Next week is my grandpa birthday and we decide to go to his fav resturant for dinner. The issue is, after adding all the pple in the family, we have a count a 16, including the latest member, my "bro-in-law". Then my grandma as my bro to bring his gf along since she got news that he got attached. My bro 甩了一招太极拳： "how come i am the last person to know that i am attached ?!??!!"

Then my aunt turn to me n ask how come i didnt get attached? wait till my bro get married first then how? How come I never treat the gals in my class better? Am I too stingy to the gals in class? Arrow turn to me all of a sudden???!!?!?!

I reply " In the class, I am 一个好人"

Guess what my aunt reply? you must be good to every gals in class lah, that is why nobody find u good to cos u are good to everybody.

???!!?!!???!?!?!?!?!

New theory. Must publish it in scientific america.

Now thinking abt this and will assemble an answer later. In the meant time, ladies, any comments?

very long never like this 发光发热

Went to expo with DH n his gf. Very long didnt shine like a big bright bulb. Always know that a guy speak softer, move slower and act differently when beside his gf. Luckily he didnt change much, or else i will condemm him, hehehe. But he did warn me not to mention that he had a drink with me last week. haha

What shld i comment? they click well. 3-4 years together already, know each other well ehough. reach the stage of 夫唱妇随. Not like JLJ, can say things like "今天还没见到面".......

Didnt really know V well. but she is friendly and dont feel uneasy with me around. But her chinese not very powerful, dont ustd "女为悦己者容" and "阿Q". 林老师 observation is "she is a nice gal" n ask DH to treat her well.

must start sourcing for wedding gifts. Promise DH to be his children godfather, no matter how many V is planning to have....

Shopping 记

Last fri afternoon was the day we celebrate JLJ birthday. lunch at 12.30 at suntec. In the end, all reach at 1.15 pm. The class is always LATE!!! lunch till 3 pm. most of the class went back sch to work. I didnt cos going to expo to source for notebook. went shopping w JLJ for 1 hr.

Her comments: I need more training n preparation as future bf. Need to give more constructive views on clothes. "Yes", "nice", "not bad" are answers that r not good enough. Need to recommend something else n positive. She also comments that alot of jewellery shops are having promotions n hopefully JJ is doing something.

My observations:

1. Shopping was never my cup of tea. The last time i went shopping was in tampines when SJ came over to ask abt fluent. I cant remember whether i went shopping w my ex before or not.

2. There are many many many shops cater for ladies. i think at least 80%. JLJ is able to go from shops to shops n to my surprise, all of them cater for ladies, bags, shoes, clothes...

3. JLJ like dull n moody colours for clothes. She is tall, those clothes make her look very aunite like. They do fulfill her wish of not wanting to be in the spotlike. She like to blend with the environment. small woman, just like to 与心爱的人，平平淡淡的共度一生。

4. I feel that she is overdoing it. of cse a "maid" will blend into the surrounding. She need to shine herself out occasionally. 玉在椟中求善价，钗于奁内待时飞

She say bye bye to me after nearly 1 hr of shopping, meeting a friend at suntec before meeting her JJ. Think she is trying to release me from my boredom. confirm i will fail totally, hehe.

Went to take mrt, walk pass marina n decide to see what all the renovation is going. Marine square changed till i hardly recognise it anymore. Still got alot of time till 6 pm at expo. Decide to go back tampines first.

Reach tampines at 4.45 pm. decide to do some shopping around tampines since there isnt much time left to go home. wow, never realise that time pass so slowly during shopping. walk throu century sq n tampines mall and it is only 5.15 pm. decide to go to expo n look see first.

Shopping suck! dont ustd why gals like it so much...

Thinking loud

early in the morning, 10 mins before class, writing rubbish here.

these few days got mood to do coding. maybe knowing birthday coming and wanted to finish stuff. maybe because most of the homework happen to be things that i learned in yr 4. If today got mood, will start methods, believe that it is all abt coding too.

romance mood filled the air. JL got attached w MT recently n i keep bumping into them walking back home n seeing something that i shldnt be seeing. HM and HS got also got attached recently, at lightning speed and went to KL last weekend. MY wedding dinner invitation card came last sat, traditional red bomb. DH want me to back in spore in time for his ROM....

still thinking of part 2 of 女子 article. shld be ready soon....

class is thinking abt when to fly n where to tour tokyo. the admin red tape is so troublesome.

Thanks to DH, MY, the class, KK n families who remember my birthday.

christmas mood is up.

laptop is taking up quite a bit of my time, thinking which to buy. decide to forgo n IBM n go for a cheap cheap cheap dell, since i wont be using it that much after MIT and i only need high processing power.


ok , 9 am, time for class. That's all folks!

22 nov

Today i turn 25 years old, lived for a quarter of century.

Got 3 small gatherings. 2 weeks ago went for lunch with parents n bro. last sat went for supper with DH. today went for lunch w class. eat what is not impt, the impt is who u eat with, friends.

I hardly celebrate birthday, the time is always the exam period. never really like cake anyway, prefer to eat something else. i always believe that it need not be friends giving you treat on your birthday, i shld be honoured that they treat me as friends and r willing to spend time with me on that day. For that, i shld be treating them. but the class is too large, not enough money :P treated some already thou....

10 gal cousins

Was having dinner with the class at Jurong Point last fri and met my gp of 5 gal cousins (1 was missing) who went there to watch harry potter.

Let me count my 表姐妹 （i dont have 叔伯）:

my 姑妈 side: 1 表姐, 1 表妹, 1 表弟
my 小姑 side: 2 表妹

my 姨妈 side: 2 表妹
my 大舅 side: 2 表妹
my 小舅 side: 2 表妹

summary: i got 10 gal cousins and only 1 litte guy cousin + 1 younger bro.

阴盛阳衰！！

真理越辩越明

I remember this was the topic for the final match of a year's 国际大专辩论会. cant remember who won but i kinda of like this topic. I always like to the get to the roots of the things n believe that having a good discussion over it will make things much clearer. undergraduate life seem to enforce this into my way of life.

Till I met my ex-gf....

Whenever we have disagreements, i will always ask her to sit down n we have a chat abt it, getting into the details and events to find out what is wrong, who is right. However, i realise that whatever the outcome, we got the right and wrong sorted out, but our relationship seem to get worse....

After that relationship, i change my mindset. Petty stuffs, right or wrong are not worth the efforts if feelings are hurt in the process. I start to learn to let things go. 知易行难 thou.

How i do it? by learning from the heart sutra. 般若波羅密多心經.


心无罣碍　无罣碍故 无有恐怖　远离颠倒梦想　究竟涅盘　

melvin used the heart sutra for optimization, i used it for everyday life.

I memorized the heart sutra since army days. but i dont really understand the meanings, even went for a course on the heart sutra. I make it a point to chant the heart sutra thrice a day. That day, cant remember which day, think it was in yr 3, i was chanting the heart sutra when it dawn on me the meaning of this phrase. It is just so simple. (hopefully, that is what 禅宗说的顿禅). I was very happy over this.

Since then, letting things go become very simple. Thinking back, it come to no surprise now that I change from not sharing reports to sharing reports; from fighting for 1st class honour to not feeling very upset when i got 46/100 for optimization quiz. 不是不关心，而是不执着。

I used to fight over small things with my bro, agrueing who is right or wrong. things have been much better now. DH complain that he is forever giving in to his future wife, i told him that it is not worth the effort to get to the bottom of right n wrong n strain the relationship, for he truely love her.

对与错，在亲情，友情，爱情的面前，是多麽的渺小。当你学会放下执着，你会发现，退一步，真的会海阔天空。


奉劝诸君，苦海无崖，放下执着，方登彼岸。

Giving out reports

Personally, i dont have a habit of passing friends my reports. remember that I only gave the outline of the MATLAB code to ZL when he ask for my code during undergraduates. I have heard too much talks abt pple just copy n pass everything. WJ actually just changed the name of the old report to his own name and submit it.

Now in SMA, mindset change alot, due to own limitations and the big enviroment. I even set up a yahoo group for the class to upload their report for everybody to learn from each other, before or after dateline is your own decision. That never take off.

Later i realise that reports are circulating among small circles. ok with me since everybody has his/her own right to pass the report to who he/she feel comfortable with. i also give out my report, if pple ask from me, which i dont know why, not much pple ask. My view is actually very simple, i give it to u, it is up to u to do what u want w it. It is very hard to control w soft copy.

last week, the class received a email from the TA, "Most of you have done well on the PS3. However, we want to remind some of you is that don’t try to violate the collaboration policy. Discussion is allowed but you have to do your own report." It seems that the TA at MIT found twins in the class report.

Spent some time thinking about this, decide to change my report giving style. will only give to those whom i think will read and not copy wholesale. But, i am always n still open to giving report to pple, dont need to treat me as high up in the moral ground and unapproachable. The only thing that may put pple off is that I dont like to send report that are half completed. It is not my style to lead pple down the wrong path. So, normally i will ask pple to wait if they want my report.

Good things are worth waiting for. :-)

满江红

just managed to settled the chinese problem on the PC, now can type chinese. so the blog shld have more chinese coming, if i can still remember the han yu ping ying....

SJ posted the poem 满江红 by 岳飞 on his blog. I used to have a similar one regarding exams. cant find it but found something similar. It is about the Nan Jing massacre.


南京蒙难日之《满江红》：

　　　　　　　扬子江流　重到了　旧时痛处
　　　　　　　一甲子　六朝金粉　紧锁凄雾
　　　　　　　三十万人惨变鬼　八千里地山河怒
　　　　　　　燕子矶　白骨缠草根　愁难渡
　　　　　　　国运竭　如日暮　积贫弱　豺狼入
　　　　　　　更待干戈舞　直指濑户
　　　　　　　跸绝烟尘平倭寇　东瀛碧血洗前辱
　　　　　　　今年少　众志筑新城　征程路


If anyone is free, i will recommend this book " The Rape of Nanking" by Iris Chang. It is a good book. btw, the author killed herself from suffering from depression after writing this book.

使作俑者

it all started with me wearing that TP t-shirt for badminton. SH mentioned that it was nice and i replied that i can get one for him since my bro got a dozen back at home. then everybody wants one. i think most of those playing badminton got one, even zoe, less those who cant fit into the m-size.

i dont know when it started but soon after, the TP group was formed and discussion start to concentrate among the gp. the phrase "TP gp" start to be mention more and more often.

Then I make another mistake of joining that gp. i dont mean that gp is not worth joining, but i was thinking more of a game and "玩玩得". It was only later that i realised that my joining cause TP gp to become very distinctly labelled as "精英" gp since all of the "so called" top brains are inside the gp. This cause others to form their own groups.

A class of 13, frankly speaking, i dont see the need to draw such distinct lines. Maybe i am imaging things, but i feel that we seem to be less friendly with each other ever since groups are formed. or maybe i am just feeling too naive, thinking that 13 of us can surive and "live happily ever after".

I do hope that activities shld not be drawn wrt gp circles but be open to all. we still have 1 yr together and it shld be a rewarding experience for all of us.

寂寞，有时是很美的。

寂寞, is a very funny feeling. u wont feel it unless someone raise it. When I was in Japan, I was living ok, working, travelling, shopping and sort of enjoying myself. But, whenever I went to my supvr house for dinner, his wife will ask me if I miss home in Singapore. I would answer her no, but during the train ride back to dorm, I will think about my family and miss them for a while.

Hence, I dont like pple to keep bringing up stuff and ask how I feel. something are better left alone. I wont say that i dont miss my family, but dont underestimate me, that can be overcome.

Or else how am i going to spend another 7 mths away from Singapore at MIT??

寂寞, my entire life is almost filled with 寂寞. I lived with it in the past, living with it in the present, of cse I will live with it in the future. I read this article from zaobao recently, it ended with the words “做学问就要耐得住寂寞。研究的过程会是寂寞的。寂寞，有时是很美的。”

look like 寂寞 will be accompanying me for a very very long time. Who know, we may become best friends.

女子

The following thoughts came to mind during the weekend, after a series of 喜事. first mei yue is getting marry and my mail box is full of emails with "my wedding dinner" as title. Then dear JLJ got herself a 一表人材 bf. then come those not considered 喜事. I was packing my stuff at home when i saw the letter from SDU and the 姻缘签 i got during the last CNY.

What came to my mind? I ask myself this qn during the walk home last night. What is my view of the modern lady?

Frankly, i am sure that my friends will not be surprise if i say this "唯小人与女子难养也". but that wrong. actually, i am quite surprise w my own answer too.

I feel that modern woman are fantastic. They have to work, expected to maintain the house, look after the kids n cook. No matter how their role in the society changes, the society expect them to have new roles while maintaining the old ones. Whenever the TV shows got a lady who is married but refused to have kids, my grandma will tell my grandpa, "i dont ustd the pt of getting marry when she dont want kids". to her, marry = have children.

Whenever a lady got into some big position or does something great, the identity that she is a lady will be emphasized. Whenever guys walk into the kitchen, it seems to be a big news. I always believe in "六亲不和，有孝慈；国家昏乱，有忠臣".

In the present society, guys expect lady to be able to able to 进得厨房, 出得厅堂; the boundaries of the role of man and woman are changing, but seem like only the lady boundary are extending into the guy's area while the guy boundary is not moving. The expectation of modern lady seem to be forever growing. for guys, seem like as long as there is economic growth, the rest can be controlled.

As said earlier, i myself is quite surprise by my own view. sure to be condemn by guys. I guess the reasons behind this may be my liking for 卫斯理系列 novels. after reading around 130+ books, which is abt 90% of the series, i admire the intelligence of 白素 and the support 卫斯理 gave her.


Lastly, pse stop matchmaking me. remember that 姻缘签 i got during the last CNY? it says i got no 姻缘 this year.